Friday, April 30, 2010

I've been contemplating

What is the difference between Respect and Honor. How do I Honor a man who didn't even want me? What is Honor?

Can I really live with myself if I can't keep Honor of my father? It's a bibical thing, to say the least

Exodus 20:12 : "Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee,"

But how? For a man who was not in my life, who didn't recpect that I was his daughter and wanted more than I was willing to give. Even offed to trade the one thing he knew I had always wanted in my life for "that". Who in later years, contiuned to ask, knowing I would still say no. A man who did not even reconize me when I knocked at his door. Sure I had put on some weight, but not that much ( I think) but that didn't happen only once, but twice. Andhe, in the end, chose to leave at least one more hurt. Or at least in his eyes it was a hurt.He had always told me he was not going to leave me anything in his will, it's the one thing he didn't lye about. I don't want to "Hate" him, I don't feel anything for him. but I don't know if I can honor him any more either.

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