Wednesday, October 15, 2008

When your kids hurt, you hurt

Heather is going through a rough time, right now. She called me, to get our address here in Forsyth to send on Jerry's check from his last job. But, I could tell she had been crying. So I asked her why she was crying. She and Ricky had a big blow up. She was looking for his S.S card in his wallet so she could get Bailie into preschool. She found a busness card with a note on it. Hi, Call Me... with a heart drawn on it. She woke him up to ask about how a card with that sort of message got into his wallet. He got all defensive and ended up leaving. She's been trying to get him to "talk" to her for a while, now. He still isn't talking to her, and is starting to give her a hard time, already, about how often and how long he's going to see "HIS" kids. I know it was said in anger, but he threatened to Kill her... She said that is why she didn't call me in the morning, cause I would have called her local Law office and have someone sent out.. (You bet I would, in a heartbeat) When they talked later, he threatened to beat her, if she refused to let him see the kids. Heather said he was with a friend and thinks it's just bravo talk to impress the friend in how "tough" he was with his "ex". They havn't even been broke up for a day, yet. And the last time they talked last night he again threatened to hurt her... I told her, to call her local law's local number, not 911, and just give a heads up that he's been threating her with phyiscal harm. She said one of his cousins works in the department. I told her, that don't make a difference. She needs to let "someone" outside the home know what he's said. She said she would talk to the retired cop across the parking lot from her. That is as good as any thing. He has the keys to the gun cabnet, so she can't open it and remove the ammo from the rifles. She said if she could get it open she would ask that retired cop to do it for her. She's not sure she remembers how to do it. The kids are handling this ok. Bailie knows something is going on, and is trying to comfort her mother. Corbin is being Corbin.. into everything and not leaving Mom's side.

There isnt much I can do, right now, but just talk to her on the phone, by the hour.. which we did yesterday. I just let her get it out and do some thinking out loud. She's going to lose her job. The plant is closing by the end of the year. She'll have un-employment for a while. But with the short lay-off earlier this year, it's not going to last long. She is wanting to take some classes so she can get a better job. Ricky didn't want her to do that, wanted her to go right back out and find another job right away. And that is part of the problem, I think. He didn't ask her to consider it. He Told her. Demanded it of her. And she told him, while the un-employment was coming in, she could learn skills for a better paying job. He said "NO, not going to happen." Well, if he's not there, he can't stop her from doing it, now. He's asked her to not turn him in to child services to collect child support. She told him, as long as you are giving me money for the kids, I'll not do it. But the first time you don't. I'm going to let them know it. She's not kicking him out, He left. but he's acting like she kicked him out. Being very defensive. She said, he's walked over me for the last time. She's bent over backwards to keep him happy and he's still no happy.

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